It is 12:05 in the morning on August 8, 2015. It is officially the 365th day of our marriage. Tomorrow will be our one year anniversary.
Part of me can’t believe we have only been married one year. And part of me wonders where this year snuck off to!
Leading into our wedding, we were certainly not in short supply of marital advice. We have wonderful friends and family who told us everything they knew and learned in their own marriages. We listened, nodded, and smiled, but we also knew what works for one couple doesn’t always work for another. We weren’t seeking a “one size fits all” marriage and we knew there would be lessons we would just have to learn on our own.
One year ago, we spent the day running last minute errands and greeting family from out of town leading up to our rehearsal dinner. That whole week/weekend is an absolute blur to the two of us, but we love reminiscing about silly moments (ahem, Luke) and stressful moments and everything in between. I have one specific memory that I think is hysterical: I woke up in the middle of the night (on the eve of the wedding) and stared at the ceiling for at least two hours, and then chose to climb over the other girls sleeping in my sister’s room to tweeze my eyebrows in the bathroom. (Seriously?! Why?!)
Our most prominent emotion all week was disbelief; it was so difficult to process that we were finally getting married that it didn’t even feel real until we drove away from the farm in my Civic. Or maybe even the next morning. Or when I moved into the apartment. Needless to say, it took a while to sink in after waiting over four years for that day. Fun fact: we still have days when we look at each other and exclaim, “We’re married!?” and laugh our heads off. Our life is too fun, y’all.
Several weeks ago we attended our friends Dalton and Kelsea’s wedding at the farm where we were married and on our drive there, we started looking back on our first year. Everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest, but we talked about how much of a blast it’s been…
Our introverted souls appreciate days (or during the occasional overload, whole weekends) when it is just the two of us in our apartment, with little contact with the outside world. But we also love people; our friends and family play a huge role in our life and we cherish the time we spend with them. We’ve had fun getting to know our city better (thank you, Charlotte Agenda) and trying new things (broomball, spaghetti squash, and running, to name a few). And we also love things we’ve done together for years (Netflix binges, weekend beach trips, and nerdy conversation).
One of the many benefits of dating for over four years before getting married is we truly ironed out many of the kinks in our relationship. We already knew one another’s tendencies, needs, and bad habits. For the first few weeks of our marriage, we loved when we realized we could just walk into the next room and go to bed; there was no “goodbye” and lonely drive home at the end of the night.
Even though we came into marriage knowing a lot about each other, we have learned even more.
Just to name a few:
- Sharing a bathroom is gross and sometimes weird (for both of us).
- Splitting cleaning duties is awesome (I do laundry; Zach does the dishes).
- Zach thinks throw pillows are dumb because they serve no purpose. I love them and want more, because well, they’re pretty. And we have a white couch.
- We both have a tendency to hog the covers. The struggle is real.
We’ve also shared more than a few interesting experiences:
- Within our first month of marriage, our washing machine flooded our apartment and the two apartments below us when we were not home. It was a pitiful, sopping mess. (And to clarify, totally not our fault.)
- We had a dog for about 18 hours before we realized that we definitely weren’t ready for that commitment and are too limited (read: selfish) with our time. (Totally our fault; we felt like the worst people on the planet.)
- I may have almost smoked us out of the apartment the first time I fried pork chops in our cast iron skillet. But they were seriously delicious. (I got the oil in the pan too hot, that’s all!)
- Zach may have shrunk a few of my nicest shirts the one time he attempted to combine our laundry (hence the divvying of duties).
I mention all of these things in good fun, but the greatest lesson of all has nothing to do with quirks, budgets, or communication; it has everything to do with grace.
Yesterday while I was driving in my car, “Grace So Glorious,” the song our wedding party and I walked down the aisle to, came on. Last year, we picked the song because we loved it and we wanted to share this song’s message at our wedding. But today, I couldn’t be more grateful for that choice and I can’t imagine a better song to play as I walked into our marriage. Our God’s glorious grace is what makes our marriage possible– “we love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). He has brought two broken and incomplete people together to seek and glorify Him together. We do not complete one another, but instead our marriage is made complete through His love in us (1 John 4:12).
I am so grateful for everything this year has taught us and for everything we have experienced together. I love my husband more today than I ever thought possible, and I know that love will only continue to grow as the years go by. I am thankful for the grace he shows me daily and for the leadership he provides for our family of two. It is an honor to be his wife and to share my life with his forever.
Happy 365th day, my love. I look forward to many more days with you just like this one.